Darkened Light

And so i sit here
Gazing into the darkened light
Of another lost day.
So many problems
So few answers
Swimming around in the tank
That is my mind.
Now and then two connect
And a thought is created
But it can be lost just as fast.

The clock strikes
But I'm not counting.
I don't want to hear how long
I have been suspended
In this thoughtless, lifeless void.

Why are you here, they say.
Why do you not know how to live?
But what answer can i give except
A solemn sigh and a sad look.
A look that only a man who
Has loved and lost and loved
And lost again can summon.
Then they turn and leave.

And so is my life.
My half-life, my loveless nothing,
My own demise.
And what can be done
About it, what magic can
Cure my ailment?

That is a question for which even
A solemn sigh and a sad look
Is no respectable answer.
For the answer to this lies
Deep in the mind, in the place we call
The heart.

My torture drones onward,
An endless line of unanswered questions
And unfinished actions.

In time it will grow weaker.
In time it may pass.
But the memory, the knowlage,
The understanding, the truth,
The feeling, will always rest as a cloak
Draped across my shoulders...